partisan

I've been dreaming for so long
To see you smile right back at me
From where you are

I've been wishing for so long
To see you smiling back at me
Like I'm somebody special

But as I aged and as I changed
I left it all behind
Cause now your calls seem kind of mellowWill I run to you
Even If I'm loosing hours
Even if I'm loosing hours of sleep
Even If I'm slowly fading away

I've been down to long
Yeah I know
I know cause the radio's been playing that same old song
That same old song

About this regular guy
With regular hopes
And regular dreams gone stale

Coz he doesn't know where to go

We can find another break time to sit and talk a while
I'll be your king and you'll be my queen and we'll be dancing all night
But its getting there, its getting to me and it's tearing me apart
Cause he doesn't know where to go

Will I run to you?

biglaan

Nandito nakaukit pa rin sa puso ko,
Ng sabihin mong wag na lang.
Nandito nakatatak pa rin sa isip ko,
Kung paano mong kinalimutan ang lahat.
Kay bilis ba't umalis, nakakamiss

Na bigla lang di ko man lamang nalaman
Na mawawala,
Na bigla lang di mo man lamang naisip
Na idahan-dahan.
Hindi ako sanay sa biglaan,
Unti unti na lang sanang nawala.

Hindi ba natin kayang magkunwari,
at sabihin sige na lang
Hindi ba natin kayang dayain,
Ang mga yakap sa tuwing lumalambing
Kay bilis na umalis, nakakamiss

Na bigla lang di ko man lamang nalaman
Na mawawala,
Na bigla lang di mo man lamang naisip
Na idahan-dahan.
Hindi ako sanay sa biglaan,
Unti unti na lang sanang nawala.

palabas

yay.. i bought spongecola's cd today.

sigh..

last night i watched mtv.. they were showing the rock awards..
saw 6cyclemind play biglaan.. then i got goddam confused which to buy first them or spongecola..

then i woke up this morning.. turned on the goddam tv.. it was on studio23.. then 6cyclemind was playing the acoustic version of sige.. it was awesome.. i watched it on breakfast, you know that show with all the younger hosts..

so it was settled.. i was going to buy their album first.. got to the mall went to oddysey.. fuck that goddam saleslady.. out of fooking stock daw.. so i just bought spongecola..

anyway.. the album was really nice.. i love that song lunes.. if you watch alot of mtv then you should have watched and heard that song. :)

birds etc..

our cousin gave my sister 2 pairs of love birds.. yah the blacksheep got some goddam lovebirds!
i think they gave us sick love birds though.. their not loud, their no fun.. i mean they should be chirping and all.. but they arent.. not even once did i hear them do any sound.. man are they weird.
i want them to make noise.. it makes you feel like your in a forest or something.. you know the way chickens make you feel like your in a goddam farm and all.. or the way aetas on the streets make you feel like your in the bondoks and like its the end of the world or something..
its inside the house though.. i mean the lovebirds. yah its inside coz you woudn't want those goddam pussy cats feasting on them do you?
there was this time we had like 6 white mice.. yah we did. weird family i know. i donnu who gave it to us but it was for my dad's goddam snake.. it was stupid.. coz those were so little.. how could the snake coil and squeeze their guts out? ive seen it squeeze the lifeforce out of rats that look like goddam cats and its so much fun.. its a nice sight. it really is.
goddam moron sunuvabitch!
yah we had mice.. and our goddam nieghbor's pussy ate our mice.. yup those bastards ate them all up.. no wonder i chase those pussies whenever i see them inside our gate.. bastards.. i even splash them with cold water.. throw stones at them.. i dont get tired of doing that coz they killed my 6 white mice.
and yah we have a snake.. its a goddam python i think.. and its flitty. he actually made friends with this rat.. weird to see them side by side.. that flit fell in love with that rat.. that rat must be ozing with all those irresistable love juice..
i like fish. my cousin has flower horns and arowanas.. but we dont have that kind of luck in keeping fish alive.. when we were kids.. 1 week and all those goldfish are gone.. goddam pet store selling us sick fish.. arghh.. those goddam sunuvabitch giving kids dying fish.
and once i ask my mom to buy me a crab.. you know those goddam crabs you see getting carried by those guys in streets like the taho man do.
the joy. im telling you i was happy as shit. i toyed with it then i droped it right on the fish tank.. it died.. i think it drowned. it killed me. it really did.
then once i got a hermit crab.. goddamit i love crabs. i was in elementary then.. there was so much fuzz about those hermit crabs sold at "funny" store.. so i bought one coz all the guys in my class had one.. damn i was so happy when i bought my first goddam hermit crab.. i got home played with it got a sustagen tin can filled it with sand.. then morning came.. i ran down the stairs to see how old crabby was doing.. i was ecstatic, my crabby gave birth..
wow.. it gave birth? you can imagine how naive a kid can be.. its funny. then i looked at it closer.. goddamit it came out of its freakin shell.. damn shit.. dead on the spot. it killed me.
my cousin also has a goddam philipine eagle.. i didn't see it though.. saw my blacksheep sister calling my attention telling me they have a fucking eagle.. wasn't so fond of my cousins.. so i just stayed seated waiting for my angpao. it must have been cool though.. the eagle.. they also have rabbits.. dogs.. and God knows what else they have!
my other cousin has hamsters.. damn.. animals.. i mean wow animals.. not calling my cousins animals although they can be some pain in the ass sometimes..
and..
damn those petshops..
curses!

i phony

know what? i was copying some lines again from that book.. i typed in about a gazillion paragraphs already! then i got crazy i deleted everything! i wasn't in the mood all of a sudden.. im crazy. i really am.

finished the book though.. it was nice.. i thought the last chapters were touching especially the ones when he's with his little sister..
SHE KILLS ME! she really does!
so sweet and cute and nice.. i wish i had a sister like that.. but no! fate was rough with us and gave us a goddam blacksheep hahaha!(j/o)

anyway merry christmas!

went to my relatives..
i dont like going to relatives cause i dont like it there.. i only like the goddam angpao they give us hehe.. sometimes i dont wana accept it though (this is horseshit! of course i goddam want it!) cause i feel like im too old to be receiving moolah from them..
oh well, im such a big goddam phony.. if Holden was real and he knew me.. he'll call me the biggest phony and all..
im a phony.. i really am.

phoebe kills me.

goddamit!

i love this book "the catcher in the rye"

here are some lines.. or paragraphs.. or even pages of the book hehe!


"i was only thirteen, and they were going to have me PSYCHOanalyzed and all, because i broke all the windows in our garage. i dont blame them. i really dont. i slept at the garage the night he died, and i broke all the GODDAM windows with my fists, just for the hell of it. i even tried to break all the windows on the station wagon we had that summer, but my hand was already broken and everything by that time.
.....and i cant make a real fist anymore-not a tight one, i mean-but outside of that i dont care much. I mean im not going to be a GODDAM surgeon or a violinist or anything anyway." --he was 13 and he was completely insane!--


""you dont even now if her first name is jane or jean, ya GODDAM MORON!"
"now shut up, Holden, God damn it-im warning ya", he said. i really had him going. "if you dont shut up im gonna slam ya one."
"get your dirty stinking MORON knees off my chest."
"if i letcha up will you keep your mouth shut?"
i didnt even answer him.
he said it over again. "Holden. if i letcha up willya keep your mouth shut?"
"YES."
he got up off me, and i got up too. my chest hurt like hell from his dirty knees.
"you're a dirty stupid sonuvabitch of a MORON, i told him."
that got him mad... ..."Holden God damn it, im warning you, now. for the last time. if you dont keep your yap shut, im gonna-"
"why should i?" i said-i was practically yelling. "that's just the trouble with all you MORONS. you never want to discuss anything. thats the way you can always tell a MORON. they never want to discuss on anything intellige-"
then he really let go one at me, the next thing i knew i was on the GODDAM floor again.
.....i didnt even bother to get up. i just lay there on the floor for a while, and just kept calling him a MORON sonuvabitch. i was so mad, i was practically bawling.
"Listen. go wash your face", stradlater said. "yah hear me?"
i told him to go wash his own MORON face - which was a pretty childish thing to say, but i was mad as hell." --haha go wash your own moron face! what a line. (im not sure you get what im writing here but if you read the book you'll enjoy it, trust me coz i did.)--


""listen. whats the routine on joining the monastery?" i asked him. i was sort of toying with the idea of joining one. "do you have to be a Catholic and all?"
"certainly you have to be a Catholic. you bastard, did you wake me up just to ask me a dumb ques-"
"ahh. go back to sleep, im not gonna join one anyway. the kind of luck i have, ill probably join one with all the wrong kind of monks in it. all stupid bastards. or just bastards."
when i said that old ackley sat way the hell up in bed. "listen." he said. "i dont care what you say about me or anything, but if you start making cracks about my GODDAM religion, for Chrissake-"
"relax." i said. "nobody's making cracks on your GODDAM religion""


thats a lot of "GODDAM" in there.. and thus the title of this GODDAM post! :)
not finished with the GODDAM book yet..
and reading this post might not seem interesting and all..
but actually reading the book is different.. i found it funny..
or..
maybe i just have a GODDAM stupid sense of humor?

huh?

why did they get tom hanks to play robert langdon?
before.. i was excited to know they were gonna make the movie..
and now.. ive totally lost interest on the movie..
i just hope they get kate beckinsale..
yeah..
now your talking. :)

fuck off

i wish my groupmate's mom would just shut up! i was forcing myself to smile.. it was so hard and im sure my smile was really stiff.. they should have seen how hard i was trying to smile.. what a bitch spending all the money her husband is making in taiwan.. what a biatch.. sigh..

we were to meet today by 0800.. i came 0830.. i thought i was late but when i got there, it was only 5 of us.. another 4 missing.. i should have expected it.. then this groupmate texted another groupmate telling him things like you dont know what to prioritize.. nothing serious.. they always joke around anyway.. then when the elevator opened.. whala! the guy was obviously pissed.. "sino nagtext nito?" and so they just made up some stupid excuse na na wrong send.. sigh..

and yesterday, a friend gave me some brownies coz it was our last day yesterday.. by the time i got home.. i ate none and half was already gone.. it just so happened when i had my lunch i bumped into some people and sat with them for a while after i finished eating.. i shared my brownies before i left.. yes i shared, its for the spirit of christmas lol!

math exam was also yesterday.. i am not sure how well i did.. i just hope i did good enough.. i think i knew what i was solving.. but sometimes when you think you know what your doin.. the worst thing eventually happens.. and that is when your in deepshit! and yup our prof gave a bonus question.. something about what i would like to receive on christmas.. the first thing that popped into my head was.. money.. but i cant write that! i have to show my prof that im a 'good' person worthy to pass his math class!

and now.. im surfin the net for products that are not yet here in the pilipins.. it seems a lot of people failed the entrep exam this is why we were given a takehome exam.. sigh.. if i were to be asked id rather not do the takehome exam.. it's to be submitted on the 20th.. bummer! and i have not done anything yet and your also supposed to tell your prof in advance what your product would be so that she could approve it before you can proceed with the analysis.. sigh..

moron

i was watching the news about fpj.. then nino muhlak started talking saying.. wag daw sana magkalat ng kung ano ano na malubha si fpj..

WTF!

earth to mr. fatness:
for your information.. fpj is dying!
can't you see?
what could be worst than a man lying on his death bed? you don't call that malubha?
are you just there for the sake of being on tv?
go home.. cause you don't even know what's really happening do you.. it seems your little brain stopped functioning when you were 8..
now that's what i call brain dead.

lunes

Dahan dahang lumalamig
unti-unting dumidilim
Sa saliw ng yong pagtingin
ang oras ay

bumibilis
kumakaripas
naghihintay na lang
kasama ng ulan

at ayokong magising
sa umagang nangaakit mabuksan
naninimdim
di alam
walang patutunguhan

di mapigilan ang pagngiti
paglaya mo’y minimithi
nagyayaya nang makisayaw
ang himig ay

nangaaliw
isang pagdiriwang
sa ilalim ng bituin
sa liwanag ng buwan

at ayokong magising
sa umagang nangaakit mabuksan
naninimdim
di alam
walang patutunguhan

ayoko na
hindi sinasadya
hindi ko sinasadya

flying ipis

tanginang ipis yan! nakipagsagupaan sakin.. halos 30 min rin taguan bago ko napatay! d ko na kwento lahat ng detalye pero puta talaga yan ipis na yan.. un huling pagtutuus namin eh pumunta siya sa window den i was hitting the curtains with a belt..
on my left hand was a slipper and on my right was the belt.. after hitting the curtains several times it came out and was flying towards me.. the darn ipis was approaching.. then with lightning speed reflexes i whiped my trusti belt through the air! you can hear the intensity of how i whiped my belt the sound of it cutting thru..
thank God my belt was luckyly on collision course with that disgusting piece of crap!

he fell on top of a table.. i was striking like a fucking madman, desperate to destroy hell's little present for me.. then he fell to the ground.. i slammed my slippers at it..
then continued whacking it until all those goey stuff were flowing out of his little crispy body!
i hate ipis.. especially the ones that fly with no direction! they cant fly! its like their drunk or something.. they'll land anywhere they want its a good thing it didn't land on me.. i was shirtless that time imagine it crawling on your skin.. the disgust.. not to mention the terror! haha!
just now another one appeared.. its a good thing im not home alone anymore i have people here to help me fight the battle!
il admit, it freaked me out.. i was watching tv and when i watch tv i close all the lights so it was dark and the only light source was that of the tv.. then i saw something flying and the creepy sound of an ipis landing on stuff.. i quickly stood up and opened all the lights that i could open.. arghhhh.. "putang ina!" was the only words that came out while it was flying straight to my tummy..

now that its all over i feel so good to have slayed a flying ipis.. it only feels good when you get to kill them.. it sucks to have them escape and survive another fucking day..
something i would enjoy watching on tv is a program that shows mass killing of these pests.. i would love to see on tv (of course) how people would burn hundreds of these hell's shit.. or whack tens of tens of them.. or flood them with listerine in an aquarium.. that would be awesome!
yup you heard me right! use listerine! that's a home tip i got from katrina.. its obvious that she had had more experience in this kind of stuff.. the evil stuff that is.. she enjoys seeing creatures in pain as you can see.. sadista.. she came from the dark side hehe jk :) il use it next time! she came from the same bloodline of lapulapu.. she's savage so dont mess with her.. haha just kidding!
how i wished i had super powers.. like the power to stare at something then burn it.. just imagine a flying ipis crashing and burning.. isn't it great! wow.. how i wished i could do just that.. superman must have had no trouble burning ipis.. sigh.. i wished i was superman.. or the human torch.. or cyclops.. they're so lucky to have super powers!

kwentuhan

kanina pa tayo magkasama
umaga na pala
maya maya lang ay may araw na
kahit tayo'y pagod, buong mundo ay tulog
ikaw at ako,
derederetso lang na walang pakialam

kwentuhan lang wala namang masama
oh usap lang, ibaon muna sa limot ang lungkot

tatawa tayo sabay seryoso
unti unti kang nakikilala
ang sarap sarap mo palang kasama
dati kasi, tahimik ka lang palagi
ngunit ngayong gabi,
parang kay rami rami mo nang sinabi

...dahil gusto kitang makilala't makasama

umaga na tulog ka na
kay himbing mong managinip
kay sarap sarap mong umidlip
uwi na kaya ako? o dito muna siguro?
samahan muna kita,
dahil parang ayaw mong mag-isa

samahan ka.. wala namang masama
kung samahan ka,
hanggang lungkot ko'y..
makatulog din

dramachine

i bought sugarfree's cd today hehe.. so far i like it.. i still love hari ng sablay.. i like kandila.. i also like kwentuhan!

its weird coz.. im happy today hehe

plan to buy more cds.. spongecola, 6cyclemind, the dawn.. maybe next week.. of course its all local bands!

kandila

ngayon gabi madilim dito
walang ilaw, brownout sa aking mundo
sa init naiinip, sa dilim nangangapa
naalala tuloy kita

kandila lang ang kasama
kandila lang ang kasama
kandila lang ang kasama.. kumusta ka na kaya?

kung kelan pa nawalan ng ilaw
saka pa lahat naging malinaw
baka ako ang may kasalanan
kung bakit tayo may tampuhang
hindi na pwedeng pagusapan

sorry di kita hinabol
sorry tayo'y malabo
maya maya lang ay may ilaw na
pero sana malaman mo

magkailaw man madilim pa rin
kung wala na
kung wala ka...

math peste

as ive predicted i failed horribly on my math quiz... the only failing grade after all the good grades i got on every other subject...
after getting 103+5 (yah you can get over 100 in our mktg class getting perfect plus answering the bonus question then being the top3 highest an instant +5 insentive is given!) on our mktg009 exam..
after getting 92+5 on our mktg002 exam..
after getting 87 on our entrep (this class is insane! wasn't even close to be included in the top3! crazy people getting 98 98 97 90 90.. mga baliw clasmates ko dito! haha brainiacs..
i hate math.. 66 ako.. shit talaga ang math!
i could still remember grade3.. failed math and had to do summer class.. bullshit! i remember crying and hiding under a table while nagwawala na i dont wana go to summer class!
1st year hs.. 1st grading failed the 2 maths we had.. buti nalang nakabawi at d ako nagsummer.. i hate math talaga.. sbrang hina talaga ako sa math haha!
then when i was a froshie.. i took up engineering.. what the fuck was i thinking! maybe it was destiny that i be sent to where i am now.. sigh.. not really complaining with my school.. im cool with it..

sana matalo si pacquiao bukas.. i think lumalaki kc ulo nya.. lets bring him back down to earth! hope you lose.. haha! if u win.. you should thank me coz nothing really goes my way.. and wen i said this terrible thing against you.. i instanly jinxed fahsan haha!
go fahsan! whooo gudluck! kick pacquiao's hairy ass!

sugarfree

i love sugarfree! especially their song hari ng sablay! whoooo! il buy their cd once i get the chance! lets support local rock bands.. the hell with foreign artist! haha and oh don't buy pirated cds.. well at least don't with local bands haha!
buy all the crappy pirated stuff all you want just make sure their not our own hehe!

now back to the real world.. yah the one that sucks!!!
shit math nanaman! our shitty prof ask me to go to the board i told him hindi ako marunong.. haha coz i honestly didn't know how to solve that shit..
stupid! i hate math..
then he whispered "babagsak ka nyan.." haha fuck u! u don't scare me! why don't you just go back to your little christian gospel groupie and teach math there! haha!
and to think that you came from the land of the blue eagles..
you make them look bad.. lol! joke :)

ako ang hari ng sablay ako ang hari ng sablay.. hinding hindi makasabay.. sabay sa hangin ng aking buhay!

roadkill

almost died today! this car almost launched me 6feet off the ground! im so tatanga tanga.. its not the first time not the second time not the third time.. it has happened tons of times haha stupid me! stupid for talking with people across the street and trying to close in on them without looking on both sides.. sigh..

especially bicycles and motorcycles and tricycles.. i think all the "cycles" in the world are conspiring to kill me!

hari ng sablay

please lang wag kang magulat
kung bigla akong magkalat
mula pa nung pagkabata
mistula nang tanga
san san nadadapa, san san bumabangga
ang puso kong kawawa, may pag-asa pa ba?

ooh, ayoko nang mag-sorry
sawa na kong mag sisi
pasensya ka na, mabilis lang ako mataranta

ako ang hari ng sablay, ako ang hari ng sablay
hinding hindi makasabay
sabay sa hangin ng aking buhay
hari ng sablay, ako ang hari ng sablay
ako ang hari, ako ang hari

isang tama, sampung mali
ganyan ako pumili
di na mababawi ng puso kong sawi
daig pa ang telenovela
kung ako ay madrama
ganyan ba talaga, guhit ng tadhana?

ooh, sawa na kong mag-sorry
ayoko nang mag sisi
pasensya ka na, mabilis lang ako mataranta

ako ang hari ng sablay, ako ang hari ng sablay
hinding hindi makasabay
sabay sa hangin ng aking buhay
hari ng sablay, ako ang hari ng sablay
ako ang hari, ako ang hari

crossfade

Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high

[Chorus x2:]
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold

And I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again
Cause now i can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high

[Chorus x2]

I never meant to be so cold

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope
I never meant to be so cold

math shit

shit!
i failed my math quiz today! dammit!
i will not allow myself to fail a single math subject again!
shit!
failing engalge 3x is enough!
failing trigsol once is enough!
shit!
i can't possibly fail again!
not now.. not ever again..
shit!
i hate math!