faker

last christmas.. holy shit! everyone was greeting "merry christmas!"
of course i did the same thing greeted people "merry christmas!"
i was just doing what people are used to do during christmas..
i feel that nakiride lang ako sa pag greet..

this christmas was the phoniest chirstmas i ever had.. the saddest even.
so whats new?
im always depressed anyway or if not im plotting someone to die..
last christmas wasn't any different and the fact that it was christmas didnt stop me from having evil thoughts..
this aunt of mine sure knows how to piss me off..
and so she was my lucky target for the day..
thoughts keep running on my head.. (11 am)
violence..
death..
and it kept running.. (2pm)
and running.. (10 pm)
i killed her over a dozen times already before i finally dozed off.. zzzzzz..

the only good thing that happened last christmas (aside from the money, of course) was when my brother (the one i killed over a million times already!) talked to me?!

what the fuck?!?
yes he talked to me and i was shocked.. cause its been a couple of goddam years since we last talked without the burning hatred in our eyes..
brothers trying to kill each other.. or is it the younger brother trying to obliterate his older brother??? our relationship was kinda like sasuke and itachi's relationship.. hmmm... or maybe not.

but now.. after christmas.. we are not talking to each other again..
hmmm.. its still not all good between us but that incident sure opened some of my windows for reconciliation..
this is wierd now that im typing it.. coudn't imagine myself being so forgiving (haha!).

i was planning on writing the "10 people you'll see dying in my thoughts"
but maybe next time..
im having a hard time ranking them :)

well.. have a happy new year everyone!
yeah right haha!
we all know this isnt true.. and that im just saying this for the sake of.. well saying it.

have a miserable existence people :) (haha! i like that better )
[j/o]

bubble boy

from business world..
maureen dowd (commentary)..
interview of W. by brian williams (ata)..

"this says your in a bubble," brian told W. "you have a very small circle of advisers now. Is it true? do you feel in a bubble?"
"no, i dont feel in a buuble." bubble boy replied, unable to see the bubble because he's in it. "i feel like im getting really good advices from very capable people and that people from all walks of life have informed me and informed those who advice me," he said, adding, "im very aware of whats going on."
he swiftly contradicted himself by admiting that "this is the first time im seeing this magazine" - his version of his dad's Newsweek "wimp factor" cover - and that he doesnt read news magazines.

the anchor and achorite spent a few anodyne moments probing the depths of what its like to be president. "i just talked to the president-elect of Honduras," W. said. "a lot of my job is foreign policy, and i spend an enormous amount of time with leaders from other countries."
Brian struggled to learn whether or not W. read anything except 1 page memos. talking about his mom, bubble boy returned to the idea of the buble: "if im in a bubble, well, if there is such a thing as a bubble, she's the 1 who can penetrate it."

"il tell the guys at Newsweek," the anchor said impishly. "is that who put the bubble story?" W. asked. First he didn't know about it, and now his forgetting it already? thats the alluring, memory-cleansing beauty of the bubble.

The idea that W. is getting good advice from very capable people is silly - administration officials have blown it on everything from the occupation and natural disasters to torture. in the bubble, they can torture while saying they dont, they can pretend that iraqi forces are stronger than they are. they can try to frighten people with talk of Al Qaeda's dream of new islamic caliphate - their latest atempt to scare americans in to supporting the war they ginned up.
"whether or not it needed to happen," the president told the anchor, "im still convinced it needed to happen." the bubble boy can even contradict himself and not notice.

W.'s contention that his informed by people from all walks of life is a joke, as is his wacky assertion that he can "reach out" to the public more than Abraham Lincoln because he has Air Force One. Lincoln actually went to the front in his war, with Minie balls whizzing by. no phony turkey for him.

the president may fly over all walks of life in Air Force One or drive by dim and hide behind dark tinted windows. in his bubble, he floats through a comforting world of doting women, respectful military audiences, loyal Republican donors and screened partisan groups - with protesters, democrats, journalists, critics and coffins of dead soldiers kept at bay.

(he has probably even been shielded from the outrage of john and stacey holley, both army veterans, who were shocked to learn that their only child, matthew, killed in Iraq, would be arriving in San Diego as freight on a commercial airliner.)

Jack murtha, a democrat, a hawkish democrat close to the pentagon who supported both wars against Iraq waged by the bushes, has been braying against the bush isolation. He told Newsweek a letter he wrote to the president making suggestions about how to fight the Iraq war was ignored for 7 months, then brushed off by a deputy undersecretary of defense. even after he went public, he still did not get a call from the white house.
"if they talked to people," he said, "they wouldnt get these outbursts." murtha told Rolling Stones that the administration's deafness had doomed Iraq:"everything we did was mishandled. plans that the military and the state department had in place - they ignored 'em. the military tells me that when they were planning the invasion, the administration wouldnt let 1 of the primary 3 star generals in the room."

The president's bubble requires constant care. Its not easy to keep out huge tragedies like Katrina, or flawed policies like Iraq. as Newsweek noted, a foreign diplomat "was startled when secretary of state Rice warned him not to lay bad news on the president. 'dont upset him,' she said"

heaven forbid. dont burst his bubble.

-new york times news service