faker

last christmas.. holy shit! everyone was greeting "merry christmas!"
of course i did the same thing greeted people "merry christmas!"
i was just doing what people are used to do during christmas..
i feel that nakiride lang ako sa pag greet..

this christmas was the phoniest chirstmas i ever had.. the saddest even.
so whats new?
im always depressed anyway or if not im plotting someone to die..
last christmas wasn't any different and the fact that it was christmas didnt stop me from having evil thoughts..
this aunt of mine sure knows how to piss me off..
and so she was my lucky target for the day..
thoughts keep running on my head.. (11 am)
violence..
death..
and it kept running.. (2pm)
and running.. (10 pm)
i killed her over a dozen times already before i finally dozed off.. zzzzzz..

the only good thing that happened last christmas (aside from the money, of course) was when my brother (the one i killed over a million times already!) talked to me?!

what the fuck?!?
yes he talked to me and i was shocked.. cause its been a couple of goddam years since we last talked without the burning hatred in our eyes..
brothers trying to kill each other.. or is it the younger brother trying to obliterate his older brother??? our relationship was kinda like sasuke and itachi's relationship.. hmmm... or maybe not.

but now.. after christmas.. we are not talking to each other again..
hmmm.. its still not all good between us but that incident sure opened some of my windows for reconciliation..
this is wierd now that im typing it.. coudn't imagine myself being so forgiving (haha!).

i was planning on writing the "10 people you'll see dying in my thoughts"
but maybe next time..
im having a hard time ranking them :)

well.. have a happy new year everyone!
yeah right haha!
we all know this isnt true.. and that im just saying this for the sake of.. well saying it.

have a miserable existence people :) (haha! i like that better )
[j/o]